From travelling to Lithuania to eating out in Berlin, here’s a quick roundup of some of the things you can do with the dark-web currency
Want to pay your rent with Bitcoin? Not a problem. You just have to be happy to move somewhere you have never wanted to live, or even heard of. The holiday resort of Druskininkai in Lithuania, for example, where for €10 a night you can rent a room in a 10-bedroom apartment just a short walk from the aqua park. With regular access to water slides, you’ll soon forget the fact you’re crying yourself to sleep from the loneliness of linguistic isolation. Other options include: a log cabin in Glaciers Reach, Canada; apartments in Rio de Janeiro and Dubrovnik; and a boutique tour of Vietnam.
Health and happiness
Here’s the great news: you can already pay your dentist using Bitcoin. The Penny Meadow Dental Practice in Ashton under Lyne has gone digital. They even have 41 likes on Facebook. If your teeth are fine but you’ve been hitting the booze too hard, a trip to Swiss detox clinic Escape Ambulatorium could make a world of difference. Or at least a little aromatherapy, courtesy of Happy Tree Cosmetics.
Berlin restaurant “ROOM77, the restaurant at the end of capitalism“, boasts on its website, “we’re too fucking cool to brag about ourselves”, lists its address right down to “Earth, Solar System, Milky Way” and promises visitors “warm beer, cold women and fast food made slow”. So, you know, book now or live for ever in regret. If that doesn’t appeal, you can take a trip to Salt Lake City’s Firehouse BBQ, famous, according to the site’s “What you all are sayin’ about us!” section, for its world-beating pulled pork. Or, if you happen to have $250,000 in Bitcoin to spare, you could always splash out on a brief trip to space with Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic.
Food and drink
The options for Bitcoin foodies are limited but eclectic. You can sample George’s Famous Baklava, for example, described by testimonials on its website as the “best ever”, “awesome and amazing” and “De-Lish!”, or stock up on emergency rations and “cave food” for the coming apocalypse at SurvivalFood.com. American vineyard Rollingdale Winery sells a pinot noir and a pinot grigio, while “Booze4Bitcoin” offers a range of alcoholic beverages packaged, for some unknown reason, like high-end shampoos, in flavours including “tea bitter”, “citrus” and “outlaw”. The last, at 72% alcohol, could come in especially handy when you just want to get drunk enough to forget moving to Lithuania.
Online board game retailer Nestor Games offers family favourites such as chess and backgammon alongside the unimaginable delights of “Sugar Gliders”, “Tattoo Turtles” and “The Aztec Market”. If you have the place to yourself and feel a little saucy, you could experiment with one of several sexual hypnosis downloads, visit 3D fantasy and sci-fi porn site Lynortis, hire a Birmingham escort, or get into gambling with Singapore horse-racing analysts kranjiracing. The more devout may choose, instead, to make a donation to the Church of Saint John the Evangelist in New York, which claims to be the first Catholic church to accept the online currency.Nungwi Village
Clothes and shoes
From babbletees (“T-shirts for cheeky-cool smart people!”) to Heat Slingers‘ Nike trainers (“Simply put, we are sneaker heads”), there are plenty of respectable choices for the snappy Bitcoin dresser. There are also a few more exotic options. Mono für Alle, purveyors of “T-shirts made in Berlin from garbage”, competes for your clothes-you-will-never-wear-in-public dollar with pirate shirt company R-Shirt and a libertarian T-shirt site (right) that appears, sadly, to have vanished in the cut-and-thrust of the free market.Nungwi Village
Worried that apartment in Dubrovnik lacks a certain sense of academic decorum? Bitcoin’s furniture-makers have the answer. Add a formal air to the living room with an acrylic podium, from which to lecture guests and practise the speeches you’d have given at this year’s weddings if you didn’t live in Dubrovnik now. Less intrusive ornaments include an array of colourful bubblers, pipes and dabbers from an online glass-blower and Pocket Artillery‘s “mini cannon to end all mini cannons”, which looks like a hole punch but fires ball bearings across the room at genuinely dangerous velocities, to the delight of owners and the terror of their dinner guests.